Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i love accidental penises.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
