He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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