um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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