yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize