she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
