For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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