she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
