it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
