i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
