operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
