4 words: hood of his car
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
tell me about the fingering
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