Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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