he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
