the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
