Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
