I feel great
I just peed on a car
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
