Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize