don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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