Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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