I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
