my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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