i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
