I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Randomize
