4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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