Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
