we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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