that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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