Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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