I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
