Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
