based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize