I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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