Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
