Jerry, you need to find god
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
