So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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