He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
