i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
