After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
