grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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