i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
