its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
