I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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