You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
