Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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