This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
sex in a hospital.. check
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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