Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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