White coat. Heels.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
