I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
