I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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