sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
