I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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