i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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