He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
