Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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