That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm too high and old for this...
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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