never play flip cup with pint glasses
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize