I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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