just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Floor bacon is actually really good
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
