It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
